forgotn1:

deductivereasonable:

h34rken:

put a fucking bag on your head and sleep you god damn piece of shit

take a nap on a fucking ski lift

I never once needed a bag to sleep through church.

forgotn1:

deductivereasonable:

h34rken:

put a fucking bag on your head and sleep you god damn piece of shit

take a nap on a fucking ski lift

I never once needed a bag to sleep through church.

elation-success:

mydogsnokes:

i miss when i was like 12 and it would be the night before a big field trip or something and i couldnt go to sleep because i was so excited. i miss being so into a book that i would stay up past my bed time reading it. everything seems so bland or something idk. i’m only 19 and everything is so tiring. i miss wanting to be awake

this is the realist shit on this website

weavemunchers:

my worst fear is laughing at a joke I don’t understand and having someone ask me to explain it

klartie:

"we’re having mcdonalds for dinner"

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"i made cookies"

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"i did your laundry for you" 

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"we’re going out you’ll be home alone for a few hours" 

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candlemon:

CHILI PEPPER DAT BITCH YAS

candlemon:

CHILI PEPPER DAT BITCH YAS

awwww-cute:

My seven month old does this pose every time he notices I am taking pictures of him

awwww-cute:

My seven month old does this pose every time he notices I am taking pictures of him

i can’t even play hard to get i’m already hard to want

officialronstoppable:

i might be fake but at least i never turned on gabriella to impress my basketball team : /

monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

problematicspice:

profoak:

k999:

shakira is 93 years old and she still looks hotter and plays soccer better than you in a long ass dress,just let that sink in

FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU SAY SHAKIRA IS 93 YEARS OLD

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